I *SO* Should Have Broken up with Him Sooner . . .

. . . because things are going well. Shockingly well.

I don’t know; maybe it’s that free spirit of “I don’t know what I want and I’m totally okay with telling you so” that changed things for us. There’s this strong and confident vibe I’ve been carrying around with me . . . and, funnily enough, men everywhere are responding to it. Honest to god, I haven’t been hit on as much, EVER, as I have been in the past two weeks.  My girlfriends have been noticing it, marveling at how much men are falling all over themselves for me. It’s super odd . . . but fun. I’ve been a good girl, though . . . well, except for dancing with a hot guy with the thickest biceps I’ve had the pleasure to touch in a great while. Otherwise, I’ve totally been a (slightly flirtatious but) good girl 😉

Nico, too, has caught the bug. He’s just so into me lately 🙂 Things have been so really, really good between us. Awesome, even. I’m still being rather honest and upfront with him (I told him about the guy I danced with . . . though I may have left out the bit about the biceps, lol), but it’s working for us.

I was just flipping through my phone’s mailbox, and there are tons of amazingly sweet messages from Nico there. About how much he misses me and how much he adores me and how much he’s crazy about me and how he loves how much I make him laugh and how he thinks about me all the time and how his heart hurts because I’m not there and how he wishes I was there and how he can’t wait to see me next week.

But it’s more than just sweet text messages filling up my inbox. There’s this . . . intimacy there between us now. I guess that’s the right word for it. We’ve always been so incredibly comfortable with each other, but this is different. It’s a couple-y kind of intimacy. It’s like he decided in that interim period that he really wanted to be with me and has taken claim to that . . . I suppose in the same way I’ve taken claim to my uncertainty. It makes us far better together than we were before.

While I may be comfortably unsure about what kind of relationship I want us to have, I am definitely sure about one thing: I’m really crazy about Nico.

The other day we had this interesting conversation. I told him that he’s my favorite–it’s part of our couple-speak, one of those loving things we always say to each other. And instead of following along with our typical script, he said, “I’m your favorite? How the hell did that happen?! Have you seen you? What they hell are you doing wasting your time on a guy like me?”

He said it jokingly but with a noticeable underlying seriousness. I responded in the same jokingly serious tone, “I’ll have you know I have very refined, very particular tastes, mister. I require wit, intelligence, an awesome sense of humor, kindness, an incisive ability to make fun of stupid people, a bit of cantankerousness, laughter, sex, and above all, someone who takes me just the way I am. Do you have any clue how rare it is to find that all in someone?”

I interrupted before he could speak, “Oh, and a good sense of sarcasm should be on that list too. And gorgeous eyes. And someone who makes a girl feel at home every time she’s near him.”

“You are so sweet!” he said, and then he moved into joking mode, which what he and I do. “I have three of the things on the list. What’s your minimum?”

“Hmm. I don’t know; I’m pretty demanding. Which three things do you have?”

He listed out a few, then explained that he’d had the gorgeous eyes, too, but that there had been a horrible shampoo accident that morning.

I feigned begrudgingly accepting him with just the three traits, but only because he had the most important one (“taking you just as you perfectly are,” as he put it). Then we moved on to something else–I can’t really remember exactly what–when I interrupted whatever that conversation was to say, “And you know the actual answer to your ‘why me’ question is *because* it’s you, right? There is this inexplicable somethingness about you that I find unquantifiably . . . perfect. I always have.”

I made him blush . . . and grin. SO awesome to be able to make a man who never blushes blush. “You’re my favorite!” he exclaimed.

And right now, simply being each other’s favorites is perfect. Better than perfect.